"ho bisogno di whiskey"

I mean, this place is SO unbelievable beautiful. When my ferry arrived, I got into a convertible taxi (them Capresi sure do know how to travel) and headed straight to Marina Piccola. I didn't realize how vertical the island was; since I arrived at Marina Grande, the cab had to take me up and over a mountain, essentially, to get to Marina Piccola on the other side of the island. Which means I got to soak up some of the most INCREDIBLE views just in the first 10 minutes of setting foot on the island. The cabbie even pulled over at a certain spot that is particularly breathtaking and told me to take a picture. Haha he's got his priorities straight.

I arrived at the beach, gave myself a few minutes to stop freaking out about how gorgeous everything is (the beach itself was out of this world - it was a little cove surrounded by gorgeous cliffs lined with pine trees, and of course that obnoxiously beautiful water), and then dove right in. Perfect temperature, gloriously salty - simply amazing. I am so incredibly happy to be here.

After the beach we went back to our PRIVATE VILLA to change before dinner- our apartment itself is so beautiful. Just the view from the roof alone is so amazing. We got our shit together and then wandered up and down many hills to Anacapri centro for dinner. The island itself is essentially divided into two main towns - the shopping/tourist mecca Capri and the quieter, more elevated Anacapri, where we stayed (Mel described the island as a curvaceous woman, with Anacapri forming the boobs, Capri the hips, and Marina Piccola and Marina Grande carving out either side of the waist. This was after a particularly wine-soaked lunch, mind you). Dinner was fantastic but boy, did my travel companions show their true colors tonight.

So I knew Mel and Marinna had planned this trip, and were bringing three friends - Ally, who I had gone to Viareggio with, and two people I didn't know, Sandy and Ian. From the start I could tell that Sandy was a bit of an airhead but seemed like she meant well, while Ian had some potential to actually be somewhat interesting. HOWEVER, after a bottle of crappy wine they felt the need to buy at the grocery store before dinner and in the context of a particularly lengthy dinner (read: slow-ass service), their truly ignorant-American colors came shining through. Out-loud burping at the table (I mean, I'm guilty behind closed doors, but in a RESTAURANT?? Come on!!!); talking incredibly loud, particularly when swearing; Ian ordering a Jack and Coke while we were drinking a perfectly lovely bottle of white wine, and rather than saying "I would like.." or "would it be possible for me to order.." he yells at the waiter, "ho bisogno di WHISKEY!!", or, essentially "I NEED WHISKEY!" Oh jesus.

Then, after the waiter already has no respect for us, Ian orders a caffè latte after dinner. Now, this could be an honest mistake- many Americans do not realize that 1) a caffè latte is a trashy drink in the first place for anyone over the age of 8, and more importantly, 2) drinking milk anytime after noon is considered kind of gross, and almost an insult to the chef if ordered after a nice meal. But it's a mistake anyone could make. So the waiter shoots Ian a "come on now, buddy" look, I quickly fill Ian in on what's going on, and instead of being like oh, sorry and ordering an espresso or nothing at all, he goes, "I don't fucking care what HE wants me to do, I am American and I was taught that the CUSTOMER is always right, so tell him to bring me a damn latte!" Obviously, I was appalled. Repulsed. Ally, Mel and Marinna all cringed with me, but Sandy chimed right in with "Yeah! And this shit took so long I don't even want to pay! We should bolt on the check!" And Ally and I were like, um, feel free to "bolt" if you must, but we are going to stay and pay for you, and then you are going to owe us money, so you might as well stay and pay for yourselves... you GIANT ASSWIPES. Only I didn't say it quite like that. But WHEW. I would LOVE to meet their parents. That whole encounter really showed me that I may not know who I am just yet but I definitely know who I am not, and luckily I am not a classless American dickwad. Thank you, Julie White.

I'm exhausted after quite a long day of traveling, extreme class and beauty, and utter vulgarity. I need to give my brain/body/soul a rest. A domani...